1. You don't need so many bullshit in life. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends.Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing you last money in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself.... You have to worry about bills, about food, about some football team that never fucking wins, about human relationships and all the things that really don't matter when you've got a sincere and truthful junk.... eerrr... surf habit. Ever wonder what happened to Renton from trainspotting? He used the money to buy an island in the Philippines, where he had marijuana plantation and surfed the whole day.
2. Commitment. The moment you paddle out, you have to commit yourself to keep paddling over the waves that come your way. Even if your arms start to feel like lead and your little lungs are just about giving up on you. You have to commit or you'll eat shit. Commitment is also crucial to get waves. When you see a set of waves coming to the line up, you have to convince yourself that you will get one, you will stand up and have the best ride of your life.
3. Don't fight it, just go with the wave. Wipe-outs (trust me, I'm an expert on the subject, I used to have more wipe-outs than rides) teach you that sometimes there are moments in life that are not worth fighting for. The best way to survive a wipe-out is to remain calm, save your energy and your air. Get ready to be tossed around like a boxer shorts in a huge washing machine imported from Japan. After spinning around for what seems like an eternity, go up for air but be warned, you will get pounded some more as other waves will be coming to get you. Hang in there, you won't drown.
4. We only know ourselves when we come up against our own limits. Other people choose S and M, bungee jumping from a bridge, heroin, I choose surfing. When I was a kid, I would feel nauseous everytime I see a picture of the ocean. It's vastness and mystery scared me. I was the weakest swimmer in swim class. Yet despite all of these, I love surfing! I once got held down by four huge waves! I felt like I drank the entire ocean. One time I got dragged into the shore by nasty, seven-foot waves! When I reached the shore, I got scratches in my legs and I lost my bikini top. It would have been terribly embarassing have I decided not to wear a tank top that day! I suffered severe sunburn, dehydration, bruises and cuts, horrible sexual advances from surfer boys and yet I still love the sports. Agony, suffering and pleasure are fundamental to life.
5. Always use sunblock and moisturize. There is this 70 year old surfer who, everytime I see him, reminds me to moisturize, moisturize!!! Use sunblock, even though it makes you look like an apparition.
6. A girl in bikini reigns supreme. (I would have posted a picture of me in bikini here but that would totally disprove this theory). The power of a girl in bikini is perpetual (of course this only works with guys, other straight girls wouldn't care if you walk around naked). You can get free drinks, someone will carry your board for you, free surfing lessons, someone will watch your stuff on the beach, surfer boys will block waves for you, someone will paddle out with you, and the list goes on. Now if you want more perks and to improve your surfing faster, rinse off with them after a surf session. Sure surfers do this together all the time, but the boys don't know that this is a surfer girl's scheme to further her learning curve.
1 comment:
In the third picture, YOU LOOK AMAZING!!!
tons of love,
mihai
Post a Comment