Cheap can be Sweet...

The best birthday gift I got was this fantastic e-mail from the fabulous Ashy!

Hey Gorgeous Grace,

I bet you opened this before you were supposed to. Not even peeked but
read it all through and probably will tell me you didn't but will
confess in a few months times as you happen to overhear some Catholic
priest to tell you confess your sins and this being the smallest of
them, you decide you would be forgiven for all if you owe up to this
one. Hehehehehe. That is just the intro.

PART 1

First of all, HAPPY GORGEOUS BIRTHDAY!!! Now, you can tag me as being
the cheapest of your friends (according to your extortion blog), as I

am not even calling you, but then again you did not even leave your

number, probably in fear that some dirty old American men would think
you are soliciting calls for a 1-900 number and we all know once they
called, only you, you would somehow not talk dirty but engage them in
some perverse conversation inquiring into their sex lives and habits
that would titilate your mind for a mere day before you wring out that
sponge brain of yours that absorbs a mess of obscure facts but seems
to save at the core all the "OH GLORY HALLELUJAH S/HE IS FAMOUS or
infamous and FILIPINA/O and therefore I GRACEY AM SO PROUD".

And yes, with my perennial debt, I would probably have to starve to
make a call, nevertheless if I see a Nakata jersey in the stores (but
he is retired), it is yours...and yes, I will look and not just shut
my eyes as I pass the sportswear section as make my way to the young
men's section filled with size 25 inch waist jeans and faux fur
catering to a generation of long-haired permed and dyed manes who
believe laser hair removal is for every pore of their body...yeah, I
am delusion to be a fashionista in Tokyo...and I digressed so somehow
please fish out PART 2 & 3 from the above (I am in need of an editor)

PART 4

The world is being depraved of your voice. You need a higher platform
than your blog where you strive to be a quasi-Canadian belting out
lines from Ignatieff, delving into minute details like Alanis, ranting
your angst like Avril (hey, she is trying to be glamorous now so do
not be insulted), talking about funky love and being silly like Nelly
and well maybe if you keep up your French lessons you can annoy, i
mean serenade, the whole world in French like Celine.

We should totally collaborate on a magazine with our two-alike minds.
Forget books, blogs, movies, docs, editorials, plays...a mag is the
best voice for our madness. Of course you can be editor-in-chief,
fotografista extraordinaire and create new disguises so you can be
every month's guest columnist and rise to an iconolist status even
greater than Imelda (how I love her!! Canada should replace Queen
Lizzie with her!!). Oh no wait...how about iPodcasts of our
conversations and opinions?

Part 5

Some insight into your recent dream about your possible future husband
and baby...you are the future VIRGIN MOTHER. Think about it, thin
hubby, living in a shack, having visions. Forget about the debate if
Jesus was Black or White, I think the whole world's history soon will
have to be rewritten and recreated in the form of gorgeous Asians. It
is inevitable as we become more promiscuous and pop out babies at
alarming rates (except dictatorial China and abortion-access-friendly
Japan - soon to be available at konbenis). Well at least if you become
the VIRGIN MOTHER, you can always precious in the eyes of the prudes
and platform as the pure leader of the Philippines and concurrently
represent the country in Miss Universe.

Again random thoughts, add another Part.

Part 7

I am exhausted, I need some sugar nourishment to complete this mail
and voice as many thoughts as I usually have in this hour. Part 7 is a
birthday dessert recipe for you that I just made:

Crush Biscotti - almond of course
Melt Pierre Marcoloni (only the best chocolatier in Tokyo and great
for dates or for meanies like us who would make fun of daters at this
haunt in pretencious Ginza) bitter mexican chocolate
Add biscotti to chocolate and add roasted coconut flakes
Let cool and scoop into balls
Pour baileys on ice and add a splash of cheap konbeni coffee for that
artificial fragrance caffeine
Take out chic Japanese-styled plates bought at Daiso Muikamachi,
Relax, put on lauryn hill and contemplate life or let lauryn
miseducate us with the truth.

Sighhhhhhh, please try that way almost hallucinogenic. Hmmm, and see why
I would starve if I called, even my fine gourmet tastes need to be
subsidized with Daiso china and crockery.

Part 8

Well few people would have got this far with understanding my
incessant chatter or even bothered to read without speed dialing the
closest mental institution. Congratulations if your pre-birthday peek
let you get this far.

Part 9

HAPPY GORGEOUS BIRTHDAY!!! This is for being one day early. I am on a
spiritual quest tomorrow, let me see where it takes me and I will
report on it. That is why I am a day early. I hope I can get past the
crowds of Tokyo luring me into their ultimate retail frenzy.

Part 10

May 2007 be full of adventure, wealth (in its many forms), ohlalala
and if you really insist, beautifu*

Hope you enjoyed a unique email, maybe I will get a mention on yogurt
madness and sure you can quote me as long as I look good and sexy.


Besos, besos, besos

Ashy